Tag Archives: Finesse

The organizing struggle continues

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I’ve written three posts detailing my mission to help my mother organize (Helping a collector organize, A collector chooses organization, Organizing payoff). While she’s more willing to let go of things than when we started 16 months ago, she’s still extremely sentimental and somewhat unrealistic about craft projects she plans to start and/or finish. She also continues to shop and add to her collections. (BIG SIGH!)

We continued working in her garage going through boxes. Some of those boxes were packed two moves ago! It’s reasonable to think that if she hasn’t needed anything in those boxes since 2003 she doesn’t need any of it now. I really don’t mind her sifting through the paper to see if there might be a photo or money, but I get a little cranky when she wants to read cards or articles from long ago. However, I’ve learned this is what she needs to do to let go of things, so I summon all the *finesse I can muster and remain silent.

I’ve also learned that she doesn’t keep or buy things because she was raised in the depression-era. She keeps and buys things to give away to others. She’s not content to give these things to a Goodwill or Salvation Army unless it’s really something no one would want. If there’s the slightest possibility she can personally find a new owner for her stuff, she will hold onto it with clenched fist.

Progress is slow, but we did manage to fill three boxes which are sitting in the back of my Acura MDX awaiting drop off at the local thrift store, fill her recycle can half way, and fill her garbage can to the top. We also brought in a shelving unit to get some of the containers off the floor. I have to focus on what we accomplished rather than what is left to do. I’ll go crazy otherwise.

I need to schedule one day a month to help her through this process. She tries to go through things on her own, but is easily distracted by the memories brought to mind. I could just let things be, but mom turns 81 this month and at some point we will have to deal with the clutter. I’d rather spend time doing it with her, than without her.

 

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*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

Creating a beautiful water feature

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Dirt pile 001

I posted about our DIY water feature project gone wrong a few weeks ago. I confess that I was completely convinced that the husband and I could spend our four-day weekend turning a pile of dirt into a fabulous water feature. It looks so easy on HGTV and the pages of Better Homes and Gardens. With a little hard work and *finesse, anything seems achievable! Uh, not true. Some projects are better left to professionals.

After two days of frustration, I let the husband off the hook and called Mike, a water feature expert.  Mike had assisted my sister and brother-in-law with their water feature and it’s quite impressive. I met with Mike and fortunately he didn’t give me a hard time about the mess I’d created. He gave me a few ideas and agreed to fit our project into his schedule. YEA!

Over the next two weeks, we saw our water feature come to life.

Water_Feature_2

A little more digging…

Waterfall box and rocks are added.

Waterfall box and rocks are added.

 

Rocks (most excavated from our acreage) are added and skimmer is set.

More rocks (most excavated from our acreage) are added and skimmer is set.

It wasn’t exactly what we’d envisioned – it was better! Yes, we had to pay for someone else to do the labor, but we got more than a strong (and younger) back. We also got a great design that provided more views of the water feature from various areas of our patio.

Water_Feature_6

Double waterfall boxes was Mike’s idea!

 

 

 

We can change the splash on the second fall by moving rocks.

We can change the splash on the second fall by moving rocks.

The pond.

The pond.

 

We have a few things we need to do to finish the project, but we are so happy with the look AND sound of our water feature. Let me know what you think!

*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

When DIY turns into SKB (Should’ve Known Better)

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I’m fascinated by DIY projects. I love the idea of taking something that’s not so great and turning it into something fabulous. I could spend all day watching HGTV (if we had cable) and flipping through the pages of Better Homes and Gardens (if I subscribed). With a little hard work and *finesse, anything seems achievable!

This attitude is what drove me to convince the husband to attempt a four-day DIY project to turn a pile of dirt (remember the photo from last week?) into a beautiful water feature. We attended a seminar a few years ago and the process seemed fairly straight-forward. The husband had also done all the electrical, HVAC and plumbing when we built our house and everything still works perfectly after 12 years, so a simple water feature should be a piece of cake, right?

We began by carving out the pond. With shovels in hand, we began digging away the dirt. With each scoop of soil removed, I could hear the soothing sounds of water splashing on a warm summer evening. Ah, it was going to be so peaceful!

The soil soon became hard clay, and I was having a difficult time scooping anything but air. Out came the husband with the adze to break through the clay. I hate to see him work so hard, but readily admit that seeing his muscles at work gets my heart pumping. For what seemed like hours, he broke the clay then took a break while I shoveled it out.

I kept asking/whining, “Isn’t it deep enough?”

His reply, “No!”

I trust his calculations, because he’s a very analytical guy, but I was so hoping he was wrong. I was hot and tired!

Finally, after six hours, we reached the required depth and set the skimmer. YEA! That was the end of day one.

Day two started with a trip to the local nursery to buy plants to place around the water feature. Oh, I was really envisioning this thing of beauty now. We made our purchases, brought them home and began shaping the two short waterfalls that would feed the pond. We had plenty of rock we’d excavated from our property, so we were ready to go.

We laid the liner and began placing the rocks. This is where it all began to deteriorate. I won’t go into all the details, but there’s apparently an art to the process that we were missing. At 4:30 p.m., I simply said, “We’re done.” My very frustrated husband did not argue. That was the end of day two and I was pretty sure there would not be a day three and four on this project.

We showered and went out to grab something to eat. Over dinner we began speculating on where we’d gone wrong. Maybe if we did this or that. No illumination. It was time to admit that this wasn’t going to be a DIY project, after all. I admitted defeat and called an expert on Monday.

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*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

The favorite grandparent

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An acquaintance of mine had a boy who was about my daughter’s age and a girl who was about my son’s age. I used to joke with her that I was glad our children weren’t interested in dating each other, because if they ever got married and had kids, I wouldn’t have the slightest chance of being the favorite grandma. You see, this acquaintance is just about the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Not just nice, but genuinely sweet! I’m a nice person, and I try to be sweet, but it’s not something that comes naturally.

I hadn’t given much thought to the “favorite grandparent” thing until I noticed an article on the subject at www.grandparents.com, entitled, How to Be the Favorite Grandparent: A Cheater’s Guide. My first thought was, “How appalling! What kind of grandparent would manipulate their grandchild for their own ego?” Much to my relief, the article was more about how to be a good grandparent, rather than being the favorite grandparent.

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All wrapped up in blanket made by her Mimi!

My granddaughter Kaley’s other grandmother, Lisa, knits and crochets. She’s made Kaley some beautiful blankets, sweaters and hats. I couldn’t “knit one, pearl two” to save my soul. She also does much more cooking and baking than I do. I truly hope Kaley has an interest in learning from Lisa as she grows older. However, even if she chooses not to pursue those interests, she and her “Mimi” will have a special relationship.

Kaley’s other grandfather, Uriel, loves camping and fishing. I can see him teaching her set up a tent properly then heading down to the lake for her first fishing lesson. She seems to be a girly-girl, so I’m not sure how she’ll do with bait, but even if she doesn’t like fishing, she’ll enjoy the time with her “Papa.”

Kaley_Poppa6

She had her Poppa wrapped around her little finger at first glance!

Kaley’s grandfather, Chris (aka my husband), looks forward to reading stories to her, taking her to get frozen yogurt and giving her a ride on the tractor. The two of them will explore the creek, while he tells her about how he used to spend time there as a little boy. She may not like frozen yogurt and may be afraid of the tractor, but she’s already mesmerized by the soothing deep voice of her “Poppa.”

Kaley's Dedication 007

Besides singing, I also “occasionally” buy her clothes – ain’t she pretty?!

Kaley will probably be amazed and alternately annoyed at her singing grandmother (that would be me). From the moment I first held her, I’ve been singing to her. She loves music (as do most children), and I do hope she’ll take an interest in singing and playing an instrument. But even if she doesn’t, she’ll remember her “Mamo” singing softly to her as she was rocked to sleep.

I believe I can say with all sincerity that I have no goal to be the favorite grandparent, because if Kaley were to have a favorite, that would mean her relationship with her other grandparents was in some way deficient. That would be a shame. We all have so much to offer her, and I believe her life will be enriched by her grandparent relationships. She will be more confident in her talents and abilities because all four of her grandparents believe in her and love her unconditionally.

All four of us will be at her first birthday party later this week, and before we know it, we’ll be celebrating her high school graduation. And, that’s what’s really important – that we’re all there for her, all the time. That’s grandparenting with *finesse!

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*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

Shopping frugally with finesse

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I was asked recently if I was a tightwad. I tend to think a tightwad is a miserly person, holding onto their money with an iron fits. That’s not me – just ask my husband! I’ a very generous person, but also very frugal, and that’s why I LOVE Thredup. (I blogged about my first shopping experience earlier this year)

thredupThredup is an online children’s consignment site (they’ve recently added women’s clothing, as well). You can shop by size, item, brand and condition, and the selection is HUGE! On my first visit to the site, I had more than $300 worth of clothing in my cart. All the items were new with tag (new, never worn item) and so cute, but I had to do some serious editing.  There was no way I could convince my husband I needed to buy that much, even if I was saving a ton of money!

Their everyday prices are great, so when I got an email announcing their semi-annual sale, I had to see what was available. As providence would have it, my granddaughters have birthdays within a few weeks, so the hunt was on for gifts!

I found a LOT of nice things, so I had to edit my cart before checking out (that’s par for the course!), but the end result is some pretty great bargains.

For my granddaughter, who will be two in July, I ordered the following:thredup_2

Gymboree pink jumper (original price $36.95/Thredup price $11.99)
Kobe purple sweater (original price $28/Thredup price $4.99)
Gymboree denim skirt (original price $25/Thredup price $4.99)
Hartstrings cream-colored sweater (original price $64.95/Thredup price $4.99)

For my granddaughter, who will celebrate her FIRST birthday, I ordered the following:

Thredup_1

OshKosh B’gosh pink winter jacket (original price $60/Thredup price $11.49
Hello Kitty pink fleece jacket (original price $26/Thredup price $4.99)
Disney pullover hoodie (original price $32/Thredup price $4.99)
Carter’s polka-dot leggings (original price $12/Thredup price $3.49)

I purchased $284.90 worth of new kids clothing for a grand total of $51.92 for a savings of more than 80 percent! AND, the shipping was free because I spent more than $50. That beats thrift stores any day of the week! I also saved on fuel since all the shopping was done from the comfort of my couch.

If you’ve never shopped Thredup, use this link to get a $10 credit on your first purchase. In the interest of full disclosure, I receive a $10 credit on my future purchases for each referral, but I’d share the information regardless. I love shopping for the grandbabies, and even more when I can spend the same amount and get so much more! Now that’s shopping with *finesse!!

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*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

Flying on the cheap

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EC

Some of the beautiful landscape at Eagle Crest

I love to travel. I enjoy exploring new places, as well as visiting old favorites to just relax. We take at least three vacations a year by car to Eagle Crest Resort, which is about a two-hour drive from our home. We pack up our Acrua MDX, hit the road, grab some groceries in the town near the resort  and move into the condo for a week of relaxation. We’ve been doing this since 1991, and it truly feels like a second home to our family.

acura

I LOVE my MDX! Great car for travel!!

However, as much as we enjoy Eagle Crest, we occasionally like to get out of our comfort zone and explore sites and visit friends out of state. This usually means traveling by airplane rather than car. I don’t mind riding in or driving the MDX (it’s a very comfortable car!), but driving takes a lot of time and we’d rather spend our vacation hours at our destination rather than traveling to get there.

Plane tickets and all the fees can get pretty spendy, but we’ve been flying on the cheap for years. In fact, we haven’t paid full fare since 2000! How do we do it? We accumulate frequent flyer miles and use great *finesse to stretch their value.

We are members of the Alaska Airline mileage plan, but most airline programs are similar. The vast majority of our earned miles have nothing to do with flying. We accumulate miles by using an Alaska Airlines Visa and an Alaska Airline debit card. We use the cards for anything and everything possible, and the miles add up quickly. When we built our house, we put all of our construction purchases on our Visa card, and paid off the balance with the construction loan draw. Those were big purchases that really helped build the account.

Alaska_airlines

When we use our miles for a flight, we rarely use miles for the entire purchase. If you do, you won’t accumulate the miles flown on that flight. However, if you use miles and cash, you can accumulate the miles flown. For a one way discounted ticket, you can use 10,000 miles and receive a 50 percent discount up to $100 on a less expensive itinerary, or use 20,000 miles and receive a 50 percent discount up to $200 for a more expensive destination.

Each year we receive a discounted companion fare, which allows us to purchase a ticket for $99 with the purchase of a full fare ticket. This is always a better option than using miles and cash. We recently flew to Alaska using this option.

When we fly, we usually stay in a hotel and rent a car. We earn miles just by using our mileage plan’s hotel and car rental partners (and there’s usually a discount). We pay our bill using our Alaska Airlines Visa to earn even more miles!

Do you want to fly more often and spend less? Try what works for us!

  1. Join a mileage plan and really get to know the benefits.
  2. Accumulate miles doing things you already do, like purchasing groceries and fuel.
  3. Research the best way to use your miles for maximum benefit.
  4. Use car rental and hotel partners when you travel to earn even more miles.

Do you have any tips for flying on the cheap?

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What’s your travel finesse level?

*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

Why I’m not “grandma”

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I overheard a middle-aged man ask somewhat rhetorically, “Why don’t women want to be called grandma anymore?” I don’t know where he’s been hanging out, but I know plenty of women who love being called grandma. While, I love being a grandma, it’s not the name my grandchildren use, so I’ll answer his question.

First of all, it’s not about pride. I don’t think people look at me and think “grandma,” but they’re also not surprised to learn I am one. I’m certainly within the age range, and I’m content with that fact. I readily admit to being a grandma so I can talk to you about my granddaughters until your eyes roll. I proudly carry their photos and am ready to whip them out at the slightest mention. Consider yourself warned!

It is, however, a matter of practicality. Babies cannot say grandma. As they approach their first birthday, they can say simple syllables such as da, ma, ha (translated “hi”) and ba (translated “bye”). Between the ages of one and two, they add more words to their vocabulary, like mine and everyone’s favorite, NO!

We make it easy for these little budding linguists to say grandpa, by shortening it to “papa.” However, you can’t shorten “grandma” in the same manner. Babies have ONE “mama” and that’s a sacred relationship.

So, being the practical person that I am, I went in search of a name my grandchildren could pronounce – something simple. I know a few grandmas who are referred to as Mimi. Cute, simple and easy to pronounce, but that’s what my son called me as he was transitioning from saying mama to mommy. Somehow that didn’t seem right, and it’s also the name my son’s mother-in-law chose to use.

With my usual *finesse, I searched the internet and found a site that provides the word for grandma in other languages. I’m the first to admit that I’m pretty much a mixture of anything and everything Northern European. I’m Irish, English, German and Flemish with a tad-bit of Cherokee thrown in. In other words, I’m a mutt. However, since my Irish heritage is strongest, I looked up the Gaelic word for grandma. I found the following translation and definition: seanmháthair, literally meaning “old mother.” Children would not be likely to address a grandmother by this term. They would use instead Maimeó or Móraí.

It’s self-evident that I’m an “old mother,” so I chose not to have my grandchildren announce that fact every time they called my name. Besides, seanmháthair is even tougher to pronounce than grandma. I clicked the on the pronunciation of maimeó and heard, maw-moh. Okay, we have a winner!

My husband and I are Poppa and Mamo, respectively, and our almost two-year-old granddaughter has no problem saying either name. She actually demonstrated this for the congregation at church as her mother was taking her to the nursery midway through the sermon. As they were leaving the sanctuary we heard her strong, sweet voice saying, “Buh-bye, Poppa! Buh-bye, Mamo!” Her mother may have been slightly embarrassed, but it was one of the proudest moments of my life.

*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)