The husband is not a great organizer when he has a limited budget. He just seems to lack the vision to see imaginative ways to create the desired effect without greatly affecting our financial bottom line. This is true regardless of whether he’s organizing his garage, or planning a celebration. It’s just not his forte.
It took me a while to realize he was not being thoughtless when he’d plan something lame and he was not being imprudent when he spent an extreme amount of money trying to make an occasion extra special. He was simply trying his best. Unfortunately, I didn’t hide my feelings very well, which caused him to have greater anxiety when planning the next occasion.
As our 30th anniversary approached, I decided enough of the unrealistic expectations. I was secure in his love for me and didn’t need him to turn himself inside out trying to do something spectacular. After all, this was his anniversary, too! I informed him that I was going to do all the planning and organizing, and to make it special for me, I was keeping our destination a secret. He just needed to drive our MDX and follow the instructions of the nice GPS lady. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that relieved.
As we got closer to our destination, he correctly guessed we were staying in Seattle. As I’d planned, the hotel allowed us to check in early so we could make our brunch reservation at the Space Needle. We were fortunate to have great weather, so the view was amazing. Another highlight was a carriage ride through the park. We both had such a great time that I decided I should make all the plans and keep them secret every year. He didn’t object.
After our 32nd anniversary trip, the husband said, “I’d like to try organizing the trip next year.” He explained that he had a better understanding of my expectations, and wanted to surprise me for a change. I was a little shocked and a little fearful. However, as our anniversary approaches, it’s fun to watch him be excited about doing something special for me, and that’s the best anniversary gift of all.