Tag Archives: Love

Love does not envy

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I don’t really consider myself an envious or jealous person. That being said, there are times when I’m not always as happy as I should be when others achieve success. It’s not that I want their success, but rather I sometimes wonder why some people seem to have more than their share of success (in my opinion).

I know a person who seems insolated from failure. It doesn’t seem to matter what they do or don’t do. Every time I turn around I hear of another bit of good fortune that has come their way. To be honest, my first thought is not one of happiness for them. Obviously my feelings about this person are less than loving.

I need to examine my thoughts and motives when I’m not cheering someone else’s success. Do I desire what they’ve achieved? Generally, the answer is no. Do I resent their success? If there is a perceived unfairness regarding their success, I think the answer is sometimes yes. Am I discontent with my own success? Personally, the answer is no, but I do believe that discontentment with one’s own circumstances is the seed of envy.

When I truly love someone, I can’t help but be excited and downright giddy when they are successful. My sister and her husband have bought and sold real estate at opportune times and reaped the rewards. Their home is lovely and a wonderful place for our family gatherings. We haven’t had the same experience in our real estate dealings, but I am truly happy my sister and brother-in-law have had success.

I don’t expect to love an acquaintance as I love my sister, but I need to avoid envy and jealously, regardless. It’s difficult in a “What’s in it for me?” culture to shift our thinking, but it’s necessary if we are to exhibit love to our family, friends and colleagues.

(Next: Love does not boast)

*“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud.  It is not rude. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people’s wrongs. Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up.” (New International Reader’s Version-NIRV)

Love is Kind

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In my previous post, I mentioned wanting to avoid the first *description of love (Love is Patient). However, I’m discovering that patience is necessary to live out the other qualities of love. When I lack patience, I’m unkind, and that is a painful reality.

IKindness quote_Site’m still working on the patience, but being kind was drilled into me by my mother. Whenever my siblings and I would argue she would quote Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (NIV) I’m sorry to say that I’ve not always followed my mother’s admonition. I was sometimes unkind to other children. I wasn’t always kind to co-workers. I’ve even been unkind to my husband and children, and I truly do love them.

Overall, however, I believe people with whom I interact regularly would say that I am a kind person. I simply find no reason, in general, to be purposefully unkind. I think most would agree that bullying and cutting remarks are extremely hurtful and completely unnecessary, but that’s the low hanging fruit, so to speak.

Our everyday actions and responses to stressful situations can sometimes cause us to choose to be unkind. Someone irritates me, so the logical reaction would be to irritate them in return; and eye for an eye. I have the ability to choose what seems to be counterintuitive. Someone irritates me, and I choose to take a deep breath, smile and move on.

In addition to reacting with kindness, I can be intentional with my kindness. I’m thinking about a friend, so I send them a note/email/text telling them how much I enjoy having them in my life. My husband loves chicken enchiladas, so I put forth a little more effort and make them for dinner.  I know my son and daughter-in-law are tired when they come home from work, so I do the dishes, and pick up the toys when I babysit.

I’ve heard it said that kindness means to withhold what harms, as well as give what heals. I like that! Wouldn’t the world be better with less harm and more healing?

(Next: Love does not envy)

*“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud.  It is not rude. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people’s wrongs. Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up.” (New International Reader’s Version-NIRV)

 

Love is patient

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There’s video of me at about age 6 at a Christmas gathering at my grandparent’s home. I’m obviously very excited as my grandpa is passing out gifts to my siblings and cousins. I begin to bounce on the couch as the anticipation grows. For some reason, everyone else is receiving gifts, but not me. I know mine are under the tree (I saw my name on the tags!), but grandpa isn’t grabbing my gifts. I know this isn’t intentional, but it’s all I can do to wait patiently and not yell, “GRANDPA, I need a gift!” Instead of yelling, I bounce higher and higher and it’s quite apparent that patience is not my strong suit.

As I begin to memorize and live the definition of love as written in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7*, I find myself wanting to avoid the first description of love; Love is patient. Wouldn’t it be easier to just skip over the tough attribute and move on to something easier, like “love does not brag?”

The video clip of me as a youngster shows a lack of patience with circumstances, and to a certain extent, maturity assists with developing this type of patience. However, the type of patience required to love fully is different. If I say I love someone, I will not have a short fuse or lose my temper when dealing with them. For me personally, this type of patience does not come naturally or with maturity.

My husband is pretty close to perfect, and I should have no issue whatsoever being patient with him. Sometimes, however, he doesn’t do things on my timeframe (gasp!), and my first reaction is to bless him with frequent, friendly reminders (aka nagging). I need to show him I love him by patiently (and quietly) waiting for him to complete a task.

I love my mother, however, I’m not nearly as patient with her as I should be. She’s getting older and although she’s doing well for her age, there are times she frustrates me. Now more than ever, she needs me to show my love for her by being patient.

My kids are adults, and sometimes they act in a mature manner and sometimes not so much. I need to allow them to make mistakes and choose their own path. Surprisingly, some things I believe to be mistakes turn out to be just fine. They need me to be patient as they continue to grow into amazing adults.

I need to be willing to make allowances for the flaws and imperfections I see in others not just because this makes me more loving, but because I am keenly aware of my own faults and weaknesses and would appreciate the same tolerance.

As you age, are you becoming more patient with those you love, or finding irritated to be your default?

(Next: Love is Kind)

*“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud.  It is not rude. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people’s wrongs. Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up.” (New International Reader’s Version-NIRV)