I’ve written three posts detailing my mission to help my mother organize (Helping a collector organize, A collector chooses organization, Organizing payoff). While she’s more willing to let go of things than when we started 16 months ago, she’s still extremely sentimental and somewhat unrealistic about craft projects she plans to start and/or finish. She also continues to shop and add to her collections. (BIG SIGH!)
We continued working in her garage going through boxes. Some of those boxes were packed two moves ago! It’s reasonable to think that if she hasn’t needed anything in those boxes since 2003 she doesn’t need any of it now. I really don’t mind her sifting through the paper to see if there might be a photo or money, but I get a little cranky when she wants to read cards or articles from long ago. However, I’ve learned this is what she needs to do to let go of things, so I summon all the *finesse I can muster and remain silent.
I’ve also learned that she doesn’t keep or buy things because she was raised in the depression-era. She keeps and buys things to give away to others. She’s not content to give these things to a Goodwill or Salvation Army unless it’s really something no one would want. If there’s the slightest possibility she can personally find a new owner for her stuff, she will hold onto it with clenched fist.
Progress is slow, but we did manage to fill three boxes which are sitting in the back of my Acura MDX awaiting drop off at the local thrift store, fill her recycle can half way, and fill her garbage can to the top. We also brought in a shelving unit to get some of the containers off the floor. I have to focus on what we accomplished rather than what is left to do. I’ll go crazy otherwise.
I need to schedule one day a month to help her through this process. She tries to go through things on her own, but is easily distracted by the memories brought to mind. I could just let things be, but mom turns 81 this month and at some point we will have to deal with the clutter. I’d rather spend time doing it with her, than without her.
My organizing finesse level:
Novice Advanced beginner Competent Proficient Expert
What’s your organizing finesse level?
*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)
I think you have to be ready to declutter, just like you have to be ready to diet, change a habit, etc., but once I get going, there’s no stopping me. It’s hard when you’re dealing with someone else’s memories and feelings. Things like taking a photo of the object so I still ‘have’ it, helps for a lot of things. I’ve had to remind myself, too, that if you don’t get rid of the old, you won’t have room for the new. I’m not a packrat, but I fight it; it runs in the family and I’m sure I have the gene. Good luck, Linda; it’ll be worth it for both of you.
So true. She’s not as ready as I’d like her to be, but she’s realizing that it needs to be done. I’ve inherited some of the packrat/hoarder genes from her and really have to work at being practical about possessions.