Monthly Archives: June 2013

The favorite grandparent

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An acquaintance of mine had a boy who was about my daughter’s age and a girl who was about my son’s age. I used to joke with her that I was glad our children weren’t interested in dating each other, because if they ever got married and had kids, I wouldn’t have the slightest chance of being the favorite grandma. You see, this acquaintance is just about the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Not just nice, but genuinely sweet! I’m a nice person, and I try to be sweet, but it’s not something that comes naturally.

I hadn’t given much thought to the “favorite grandparent” thing until I noticed an article on the subject at www.grandparents.com, entitled, How to Be the Favorite Grandparent: A Cheater’s Guide. My first thought was, “How appalling! What kind of grandparent would manipulate their grandchild for their own ego?” Much to my relief, the article was more about how to be a good grandparent, rather than being the favorite grandparent.

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All wrapped up in blanket made by her Mimi!

My granddaughter Kaley’s other grandmother, Lisa, knits and crochets. She’s made Kaley some beautiful blankets, sweaters and hats. I couldn’t “knit one, pearl two” to save my soul. She also does much more cooking and baking than I do. I truly hope Kaley has an interest in learning from Lisa as she grows older. However, even if she chooses not to pursue those interests, she and her “Mimi” will have a special relationship.

Kaley’s other grandfather, Uriel, loves camping and fishing. I can see him teaching her set up a tent properly then heading down to the lake for her first fishing lesson. She seems to be a girly-girl, so I’m not sure how she’ll do with bait, but even if she doesn’t like fishing, she’ll enjoy the time with her “Papa.”

Kaley_Poppa6

She had her Poppa wrapped around her little finger at first glance!

Kaley’s grandfather, Chris (aka my husband), looks forward to reading stories to her, taking her to get frozen yogurt and giving her a ride on the tractor. The two of them will explore the creek, while he tells her about how he used to spend time there as a little boy. She may not like frozen yogurt and may be afraid of the tractor, but she’s already mesmerized by the soothing deep voice of her “Poppa.”

Kaley's Dedication 007

Besides singing, I also “occasionally” buy her clothes – ain’t she pretty?!

Kaley will probably be amazed and alternately annoyed at her singing grandmother (that would be me). From the moment I first held her, I’ve been singing to her. She loves music (as do most children), and I do hope she’ll take an interest in singing and playing an instrument. But even if she doesn’t, she’ll remember her “Mamo” singing softly to her as she was rocked to sleep.

I believe I can say with all sincerity that I have no goal to be the favorite grandparent, because if Kaley were to have a favorite, that would mean her relationship with her other grandparents was in some way deficient. That would be a shame. We all have so much to offer her, and I believe her life will be enriched by her grandparent relationships. She will be more confident in her talents and abilities because all four of her grandparents believe in her and love her unconditionally.

All four of us will be at her first birthday party later this week, and before we know it, we’ll be celebrating her high school graduation. And, that’s what’s really important – that we’re all there for her, all the time. That’s grandparenting with *finesse!

My grandparent finesse level:
Novice     Advanced beginner     Competent        Proficient        Expert

What’s your grandparent finesse level?

*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

A special blood connection with my dad

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mosquito

So that’s what they look like…

My dad and I shared a blood connection that goes beyond the ordinary. Not only was he my natural father and blood relative, but we also shared mosquito repellent blood. They didn’t like him and they don’t like me. If you showed me a picture of a mosquito and asked me to identify the insect, I’d fail the test every time. The little blood-suckers would eat my mom and sister alive, while displaying an odd aversion to me and my dad.

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Me & Daddy before one of my band concerts

Being invincible in a swarm of mosquitoes wasn’t the only connection I shared with my dad. We also connected through music. He was a very talented musician, and helped me hone my talents vocally and instrumentally. I’ve enjoyed that part of my life immensely, and still sing and play the piano. It’s been a great connection between me and my son, as well.

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Me & Daddy after Christmas church services

We connected through faith. My dad was quiet and reserved about his faith, but he lived it every day in the way he was devoted to my mother, dedicated to me and my siblings, and how he treated those around him. As a result, I am a devout person of faith, and I’ve done my best to pass along that heritage to my children and grandchildren.

We connected through humor. If daddy liked you, he teased you. He had a great wit, and his eyes disappeared (as do mine) when laughing at a good prank or just a highly humorous situation. I really appreciate that I can take a joke, tease and giggle like a five-year-old at my own jokes. Life is too short to be overly serious.

Daddy_n_me_wedding_LR

My biggest fear was that my dad would die of a heart attack before he was able to walk me down the aisle.

Life for my dad was extremely short. I visited his grave a few days ago. His headstone reveals the year of his birth, 1933, and the year of his death, 1985. The dash between those dates stands for 52 well-lived, short years full of music, church, camping, water skiing, and lots of teasing and laughter.

He’s been gone so long and so much has happened in his absence that I occasionally feel disconnected from him. That is until someone complains about those pesky mosquitoes.

Shopping frugally with finesse

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I was asked recently if I was a tightwad. I tend to think a tightwad is a miserly person, holding onto their money with an iron fits. That’s not me – just ask my husband! I’ a very generous person, but also very frugal, and that’s why I LOVE Thredup. (I blogged about my first shopping experience earlier this year)

thredupThredup is an online children’s consignment site (they’ve recently added women’s clothing, as well). You can shop by size, item, brand and condition, and the selection is HUGE! On my first visit to the site, I had more than $300 worth of clothing in my cart. All the items were new with tag (new, never worn item) and so cute, but I had to do some serious editing.  There was no way I could convince my husband I needed to buy that much, even if I was saving a ton of money!

Their everyday prices are great, so when I got an email announcing their semi-annual sale, I had to see what was available. As providence would have it, my granddaughters have birthdays within a few weeks, so the hunt was on for gifts!

I found a LOT of nice things, so I had to edit my cart before checking out (that’s par for the course!), but the end result is some pretty great bargains.

For my granddaughter, who will be two in July, I ordered the following:thredup_2

Gymboree pink jumper (original price $36.95/Thredup price $11.99)
Kobe purple sweater (original price $28/Thredup price $4.99)
Gymboree denim skirt (original price $25/Thredup price $4.99)
Hartstrings cream-colored sweater (original price $64.95/Thredup price $4.99)

For my granddaughter, who will celebrate her FIRST birthday, I ordered the following:

Thredup_1

OshKosh B’gosh pink winter jacket (original price $60/Thredup price $11.49
Hello Kitty pink fleece jacket (original price $26/Thredup price $4.99)
Disney pullover hoodie (original price $32/Thredup price $4.99)
Carter’s polka-dot leggings (original price $12/Thredup price $3.49)

I purchased $284.90 worth of new kids clothing for a grand total of $51.92 for a savings of more than 80 percent! AND, the shipping was free because I spent more than $50. That beats thrift stores any day of the week! I also saved on fuel since all the shopping was done from the comfort of my couch.

If you’ve never shopped Thredup, use this link to get a $10 credit on your first purchase. In the interest of full disclosure, I receive a $10 credit on my future purchases for each referral, but I’d share the information regardless. I love shopping for the grandbabies, and even more when I can spend the same amount and get so much more! Now that’s shopping with *finesse!!

My shopping finesse level:
Novice     Advanced beginner     Competent        Proficient        Expert

What’s your shopping finesse level?

*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)

Flying on the cheap

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EC

Some of the beautiful landscape at Eagle Crest

I love to travel. I enjoy exploring new places, as well as visiting old favorites to just relax. We take at least three vacations a year by car to Eagle Crest Resort, which is about a two-hour drive from our home. We pack up our Acrua MDX, hit the road, grab some groceries in the town near the resort  and move into the condo for a week of relaxation. We’ve been doing this since 1991, and it truly feels like a second home to our family.

acura

I LOVE my MDX! Great car for travel!!

However, as much as we enjoy Eagle Crest, we occasionally like to get out of our comfort zone and explore sites and visit friends out of state. This usually means traveling by airplane rather than car. I don’t mind riding in or driving the MDX (it’s a very comfortable car!), but driving takes a lot of time and we’d rather spend our vacation hours at our destination rather than traveling to get there.

Plane tickets and all the fees can get pretty spendy, but we’ve been flying on the cheap for years. In fact, we haven’t paid full fare since 2000! How do we do it? We accumulate frequent flyer miles and use great *finesse to stretch their value.

We are members of the Alaska Airline mileage plan, but most airline programs are similar. The vast majority of our earned miles have nothing to do with flying. We accumulate miles by using an Alaska Airlines Visa and an Alaska Airline debit card. We use the cards for anything and everything possible, and the miles add up quickly. When we built our house, we put all of our construction purchases on our Visa card, and paid off the balance with the construction loan draw. Those were big purchases that really helped build the account.

Alaska_airlines

When we use our miles for a flight, we rarely use miles for the entire purchase. If you do, you won’t accumulate the miles flown on that flight. However, if you use miles and cash, you can accumulate the miles flown. For a one way discounted ticket, you can use 10,000 miles and receive a 50 percent discount up to $100 on a less expensive itinerary, or use 20,000 miles and receive a 50 percent discount up to $200 for a more expensive destination.

Each year we receive a discounted companion fare, which allows us to purchase a ticket for $99 with the purchase of a full fare ticket. This is always a better option than using miles and cash. We recently flew to Alaska using this option.

When we fly, we usually stay in a hotel and rent a car. We earn miles just by using our mileage plan’s hotel and car rental partners (and there’s usually a discount). We pay our bill using our Alaska Airlines Visa to earn even more miles!

Do you want to fly more often and spend less? Try what works for us!

  1. Join a mileage plan and really get to know the benefits.
  2. Accumulate miles doing things you already do, like purchasing groceries and fuel.
  3. Research the best way to use your miles for maximum benefit.
  4. Use car rental and hotel partners when you travel to earn even more miles.

Do you have any tips for flying on the cheap?

My travel finesse level:
Novice     Advanced beginner     Competent        Proficient        Expert

What’s your travel finesse level?

*finesse (skill, flair, grace elegance, poise, assurance)